Forgiveness. This is a very difficult practice to live out in our lives. Consider all the situations and relationships you know that live in unforgiveness – unforgiveness seems much more prevalent in the world, in our families, and in our work places, than the practice of forgiveness. I am aware of so much tension just within my own family where unforgiveness is ever so present – this one doesn’t talk to that one; that one acts like things are okay face-to-face, but then never responds to personal texts. Despite my efforts to “clear the air,” one of my nieces did not speak to me for over 20 years. The list goes on. Then, I live in unforgiveness towards those who do not forgive me! Our merciful Lord – when I repent wholeheartedly, He forgives.
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9
What does forgiveness mean? In response, I have heard things like, “let it go; let the person off the hook; give the person grace as Jesus has so generously given me grace.” However, in my experience, how all this actually translates is people stuff their feelings down and try to ignore it. These common responses about what forgiveness is have never quite satisfied me; they didn’t seem to cover it. Then I heard an explanation from Tim Keller’s book, Forgive – Why Should I and How Can I?, that practicing forgiveness requires the person who is doing the forgiving to pay the cost, absorb the cost, of the offense. Ouch. Pause. Really take this concept in. Me or you, are paying the cost of the offense, of the hurt, that someone else has perpetrated onto us. Does it now make sense as to why forgiveness is sooo hard?
How do you know if you have forgiven someone? Here it is (again Tim Keller) – when you have forgiven someone, your capacity for love expands! This hits me deep in my spirit. Forgiveness is not optional. It is foundational. My capacity for love, a commandment, is correlated with forgiveness. However, the power to do so does not come from me. The great “me” wants to dig my heels into pride and self-righteousness. Only the Lord can give me the ability to forgive!
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1.